Thursday, Jan. 03 2013 4:36PM
The Pecuniary Precipice
By John Beaudoin
I am officially renaming the Fiscal Cliff.
I’ve been tired of that phrase for some time now and, with 2013 upon us, it is time retire it to the nether-regions.
And so we launch into, again, another round of “words and phrases I could do without.” We had plenty that wore out its welcome in 2012, for sure.
Fiscal Cliff has to be the top of this heap of, uh, words.
If, for no other reason, than it truly has nothing to do with finances or an imaginary cliff.
We supposedly “solved” this issue with a late vote a few days ago, but now some other “cliff” is looming.
I also am through with Obamacare. Not because I agree or disagree with the policy, but the word just has no meaning any longer.
Perhaps we just need to launch Obamacare off the Fiscal Cliff.
I am formally done with Kim Kardashian as well. Not the person, mind you…we’re just banning words here. I just don’t want to hear her name.
After a recent interview with Entertainment Tonight on her pregnancy, I had to scrub my brain for a bit and realized that I could do without her in 2013. I know, I am about five years late.
I don’t recall if I have banned “shovel ready” before, but if so, it’s going on the list again.
I’ve realized nothing is shovel ready until I see someone without a tie, with a hard hat and no cameras anywhere in sight actually digging with a shovel. Until then, it’s a “shovel theory.”
I am done with Lady Gaga for a year. It’s not that I don’t like her music or respect her art, I just need a year off. I did the same in 1988 with Madonna.
In 2013, I don’t really care to hear what is “trending” either.
I also am banning the phrase “guns don’t kill people, …” I am sure I don’t need to go into any more detail on that.
My final ban for 2013 is “no-tax bond increase.” This is a nod to our local officials in Lee’s Summit.
Never have four words meant any less for the typical voter.
“What, my taxes aren’t going up?”
Well, not really.
“So, they’re going down?”
Well, no, not really.
“What’s a bond?”
Well, do you have a few hours?
It’s time we find another four words to replace these, perhaps, “Stuff we should build with your money.”
I know. That’s seven words.