Men and women are different. If you haven’t figured that out, you’re in for a shock! John Gray, writes in his popular book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus:
“When a man can listen to woman’s feelings without getting angry and frustrated, he gives her a wonderful gift. He makes it save for her to express herself. The more she is able to express herself, the more she feels heard and understood, and the more she is able to give a man the loving trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement that he needs.”
The good news is…God designed and wired us that way! He knew all along the radical differences between the two species. God’s created us for a purpose and He designed us for relationship with each other.
The picture of heaven and what could be in God’s eyes is seen through His own metaphor called the Bride (Jesus) and the Bridegroom (the Church). Throughout the Bible, God calls this relationship and describes it as the Marriage Supper of the Lamb (Rev.19). God tries to help us understand our relationship with Him in a picture we all can relate and understand – marriage.
Let me give you some suggestions that might help with putting what we’re learning into your life and relationships.
1. Give each other permission to be who they are as a person. Respect (man) and love (woman) are what you need from each other.
2. Relationships are built on time…you have to prioritize it.
3. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget; it means you don’t use the offense as a stick to beat each other.
4. Being wired differently means being wired differently. Quit trying to change the other. Only God can change people.
5. Love is always unconditional…it isn’t when you attach things to it.
6. Your spouse cannot fulfill all your needs. God didn’t design any of us to do that. Only God can fulfill all our needs.
7. Loving God first and being in relationship with Him is the key. When our relationship with Him is suffering, all other relationships will follow suit.
The beauty in relationships means we don’t have to be alike. We can be different…opposites.
Fel Bagunu is lead pastor at GracePointe Community Church in Lee’s Summit.