Sharknado II vs. Miley Cyrus

September 11, 2013 

“Sharknado 2: The Second One” Yes. It is true. July 2014 is the planned release date of what has become an instant cult classic. I don’t know who comes up with these movie ideas but they seem to work for the SyFi Channel. They have created other such “classic” movies as Sharktopus, Frankenfish, Dinocroc, Piranhaconda. What more could we need in life? Certainly not Lady Gaga or Miley Cirus, which, combined might make a SyFi original. It could be called…Ok forget I brought that up. Instead how about a few other ideas for the SyFi channel? Here are a few combo movies I would like to see: “SUPERSPIDERBATMAN,” “CRICKETSNAKE,” “HIPPOMOTH,” “BEAVERSAUR,” “RHINOFLY,” “TEENSASAURUS,” “SLOTHZILLA,” “PIRAHANABIRD,” “SHARKWIDOW,” and “CATDOG.” Oh wait, Nickelodeon already did that. Give me a minute and I’ll think of another one.

Now about the Miley Cyrus thing. I’m pretty sure all the questions and comments that can be made, have been made about what was displayed at the MTV Video Awards. The thing is it wasn’t just Miley Cyrus, it was pretty much the entire show from what I have read and heard. No, I did not watch it. It is also not just MTV. It is our culture. Some might say, “What is our world coming to?” I think Miley and the others on that show answered that for us.

I am sure Will Smith’s children were not the only children in attendance. Just as I am sure there were thousands watching on television. I don’t know about you but I would rather watch Sharknado seventeen times in a row with my kids than watch Miley Cyrus. And, thankfully, I don’t have to wait for Sharknado II. There are hundreds of good things to watch. We just have to look for them.

When my boys were little I would introduce them to movies and TV shows I enjoyed as a kid. When I first pulled out “Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein.” They whined. I wonder now how many times did we watch that movie.

A hilarious movie from 1963 called “It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World” became a staple at our house. It was also good for quoting and laughing later. “Don’t call me baby” and “It’s a girl’s bike, a bike for a little girl.” “Right. Except you old lady, you can just drop dead.”, “Dinkler that’s it, we’ll get Dinkler,” “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I didn’t want to move to California,” “We had an accident alright? We fell into yellow, now hurry up,” “Why don’t we just shoot them down and be through with it.” I also introduced them to Twilight Zone, Alf, Three’s Company, and McIver, and Get Smart. Of which, they watched every episode several times. You might not find much good stuff out there today but there is a whole lot of old good stuff.

Let me give you a couple of quotes;

“I never expected to see girls get sunburned in places they do today.”

“They first showed us their calves. Well that looked fairly promising, and we seemed enough shocked to add spice to our views. But when they just practically overnight yanked another foot off their apparel and we woke up one morning with thousands of knees staring us in the face, why there is where I will always think they overstepped and took in too much territory.”

Those were quotes by probably the greatest humorist of the twentieth century, Will Rogers. For those who don’t know, he was killed in a 1935 plane crash. Yes, these quotes are at least 78 years old. Can you imagine a society being appalled by seeing women’s knees? I bet other people at the time asked the question, “What is this world coming to?” They couldn’t have imagined.

Hey, I got it. I just thought of another one for the SyFi Channel. How about “MANCOW” or (I want to be inclusive here) “SHESLOTH?” What? Either one is better than watching what was displayed the other night. I have to go. Later friends, it’s about time for SyFi Super Sunday Sharknado Frankenfish Marathon. Hurry up July 2014!

Denny Craft is a freelance writer/humorist and has just completed the book, “Cats Lay Eggs.”

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